September 08, (THEWILL) – Nigerian singer, Nike Adeyoola, otherwise known as Nikki Laoye, is excited to have found love again a few years after her first marriage was dissolved.
Adeyoola
She speaks with SHADE WESLEY-METIBOGUN about her new home, career and relocation to the United Kingdom
Congratulations! How does it feel to fall in love and get married again after so many years?
It certainly feels great to fall in love and get married again, especially as a mature single in her 40s. Finding love again after a divorce can be quite difficult because you have to heal first, fight your fears, let go of them and just trust God completely again for a new beginning. I wanted to get it right and I thank God for being the merciful Father that he is because he gave me a second chance of a lifetime with my best friend, Adekunle Adeyoola aka Snatcha.
How would you describe the experience so far?
It’s truly the best decision I have ever made. I can say that it is an experience of a lifetime already. The truth is we both have been on quite an emotional rollercoaster ride in our different life journeys and right now, we are in the same place. We just want to love and be loved. That is all we do. Every day we are intentional about how we express our love to each other in our words, and actions and how we deal with issues, our home and children.
Snatcha was a good friend of yours before he became your husband. How did the friendship start and metamorphosed into marriage?
Adekunle “Snatcha” Adeyoola and I have been friends for over 20 years. We worked on many projects including the single from my first album, Taka Sufe and the two of us also headlined The Experience Concert in 2009 as performing artists.
Ironically, our first marriages were held in the same year, 2011. I supported his marriage which took place in the United Kingdom in November and he came back to Nigeria to attend mine in December that year, but life happened.
I went through a divorce and he lost his first wife to cancer. Like we both say, God literally threw us at each other when we weren’t even looking. Yes, God decided to settle the solitary Nikki and Snatcha in one family, just like the scripture in Psalms 68:6 says.
I was just being a caring friend out on holiday in the United Kingdom and the COVID- 19 lockdown got me stuck in that country for seven months. I decided to spend the time, dropping in to check on Snatcha, who had lost his wife at the time and help out with his four children as much as I could, especially during the lockdown season.
I even had plans to relocate to the United States as I had a job offer waiting for me out there, but God had other plans. He wanted us to build a loving home for these kids and also become a great team for his kingdom.
We didn’t know how much we needed each other until God opened our eyes beyond our friendship and we are forever grateful to our Father who brought us together. We had to allow ourselves to fall in love again and move forward into a new beginning with each other. We call it “The Remix of a Lifetime.”
A lot of ladies are usually reluctant to marry men with children from a previous marriage or relationship. How easy was it to make such a decision?
Funny enough, I have always been open-minded when it comes to my relationships. If the man has children from a previous marriage or relationship, it would never bother me and neither would it be a game changer.
My major concern was just making sure this was the right step for me to take. After my divorce, I always asked God, where do you want me to serve next and I told him that I wouldn’t move if he doesn’t give me the go-ahead on my next relationship. And voila, the next man came rolling up with four children. “Ahhh! God, is this really you?” I had to check well with him too.
It was such an important step in my life, that I couldn’t take it casually. I had to pray about it and be sure this was what God wanted for me and he confirmed it with some soothing words, “Nikki, help me take care of my son and his four children and I will take care of you”. That was all I needed to hear and God took care of the rest.
God has added more to me as I am now the wife of an amazing man and the bonus mum of four adorable children. Their biological mum, Jennifer, was a wonderful angel and I am honoured to continue her legacy and wishes for these children as well.
Did you experience any form of rejection or hesitation from your respective families, based on your past marriages?
None at all. There have been lots of love and great acceptance from our families. They literally pushed us to each other, wondering why we both couldn’t see the love and potential staring right back at us.
Our mothers are excited to see their children happy again and our siblings are overjoyed. His sisters literally helped him to choose the engagement ring and co-planned the proposal with him. We share a beautiful bond with each other’s families and we are just blessed to have their unending support.
How have you been coping with the task of caring for your step-children?
Moving from being a single lady to a bonus mum of four children was quite a transition and a beautiful new beginning. My life has changed obviously as I have to balance my work, being a wife and taking care of the children. For example, I have always been a late owl, working all night but now, I have to go to bed early so I can get up at 7 am for school runs.
That is one of the many changes I had to make, but it is totally worth it. The Fantastic 4, as we call them, are amazing, respectful, helpful, caring children and they make it so easy for me. My husband is also an amazingly supportive partner and we make a great team raising the children together.
Did you encounter any form of challenge before the children willingly accepted you as their mother?
I encountered no challenges at all. They already knew me and loved me as their fun-loving Aunty Nikki and when things got serious between Snatcha and me, he actually talked to them and asked for their blessing before he proposed.
And they excitedly asked to be part of the proposal plans. Also, at that time, our three-year-old son, Rain, had started calling me mummy. He just got up one day, stopped calling me aunty and switched to mummy all by himself. Then, Zion, our six-year-old daughter went to meet her dad one morning and said, “Daddy is it okay for me to call aunty “mummy?”
I remember her older sister, Trinity who is seven ran upstairs to tell me because I wasn’t there when Zion asked and Trinity told me “Aunty, guess what happened? Zion went to ask daddy if she can call you mummy!”
Soon enough, they all started calling me mummy. We never told them to do that; they just did it at their own pace. It was so touching because to me, it meant “we accept you as our new mom”. We have an amazing bond and I’m somewhere between big sister and mummy to them because I am firm yet very playful and I understand their language.
It has just been a blessing and of course, my husband, Snatcha, also made the transition very easy by helping me to understand what it is like to be a mum here in the United Kingdom and how it is different from Nigeria in terms of how you train and discipline them here. It’s been a beautiful experience indeed.
Now that you have a full house, are you planning to have more children?
We will cross that bridge when we get there. For now, we are focusing more on adjusting as a new family together in the UK.
Relocating abroad definitely will affect your music career. How are you going to handle that?
Relocating abroad doesn’t affect my musical career in Nigeria at all, especially now that the recent pandemic situation has changed the dynamics of how things are done globally these days. Everything has gone virtual.
So no matter where I am in the world, I still communicate virtually with my fans in Nigeria and I can even set up virtual concerts, which are now the norm. My relocation simply enhances my career because it opens me up to a wider fan base in the UK and Europe as a whole.
How are you going to combine music, motherhood and other things you do together?
It is all about planning, scheduling and organising my time between my family and work. It can definitely get overwhelming sometimes, but I am taking my time to build a sustainable working routine for myself so I don’t burn out as well.
Since music runs in the family, are you looking at collaborating with Snatcha and possibly with his singing partner, Sokleva?
I actually have a single I recorded in collaboration with the two of them as Rooftop MCs called Taka Sufe. The song also featured my older brother, Femi Laoye, aka Rap2Sai. We recorded and shot the music video in 2009 and the song won a couple of awards. It was also one of the first Nigerian videos ever aired on BET.
The song is a major classic single from my album collection and is still a major favourite of my fans. I still perform the song to date. Of course, I look forward to collaborating on more songs with the Rooftop MCs. Snatcha and I also just released a new Afrobeat single called I DO, produced by Egarboi and it is becoming a love anthem already.
The song is special to us and it is certainly the perfect expression of our love and commitment to one another we pray that it further re-ignites the passion and love in all the relationships and marriages that connect to the song.
You were busy with other things while in Nigeria, as an editor and your work with Wahala Media, GirlsRockAfrica. What keeps you busy in the UK nowadays?
The work never stopped, though I am in another country. I still run everything from the UK. I am creating a new schedule for my online radio show, Girls Rock with Nikki Laoye, while working as an Editor for a popular music website, NotJustOk.Com as well as running Angel 4 Life Foundation.
Being the Project Manager of Wahala Media Entertainment and sorting out my clients as a beauty entrepreneur with my organic hair care line, Fine Woman by Nikki Laoye. I am also the co-host of Meet The Snatchas Podcast with my husband.
It’s a relationship/family podcast where we share our personal truths, opinions and advice on important topics regarding love, relationships and blended family Life. And we also share moments with our kids, the Fantastic 4, bringing laughs and educational material to our family. So I would say my hands are very full at the moment because the work continues.
What about your Angel 4 Life Foundation?
The work at my foundation has never stopped since its inception in 2010. We are daily providing support, care, counselling and resources to people with disabilities and children with cancer, all thanks to our donors and partners who have stood by us over the years.
The needs and assistance required by our beneficiaries have tripled since the COVID -19 Lockdown and we keep working hard to provide the empowerment and support they need. We are certainly grateful to our partners such as DJ Cuppy and her Cuppy Foundation; Bisi and her Enable Africa Project, Yemi Alade, Tosin Babs-Ajose and all our kind donors and sponsors who have stood by us over the years and as they continuously provide support for our beneficiaries.
What advice do you have for ladies and men who are looking at a second chance at the marriage institution?
I would advise them all by saying “Go for it” – Everyone deserves to be happy and to find love again. Forgive yourself and forgive everyone who might have hurt you. Let go of your fears, heal thyself, learn from your mistakes, work at becoming a better version of yourself and just trust God completely to give you the gift of the right man or woman, who will be the blessing from God that will make your life rich and add no sorrow (Proverbs 10:22).
That’s all Snatcha and I did and that’s what we asked God for and He gave it to us. And after that, we had to allow ourselves to fall in love again and move forward into a new beginning. You have to do the same for yourself and when you finally find that new love of your life, be Intentional about everything in your relationship. Give 100%, communicate endlessly, and be Kind and sensitive to one another. It’s never too late to start again because true Love awaits.
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