September 22, (THEWILL) – About two weeks ago, a Metropolitan police officer in the United Kingdom reportedly addressed a group of Nigerian wives, advising them to stop reporting their husbands to the police or sending them out of their homes whenever there is a disagreement.
The policeman spoke in fluent Yoruba, suggesting that he might be Nigerian. Although there was no indication that his speech represented the official position of the UK Police on the subject, he was clearly on a mission to salvage a situation that was increasingly putting Nigerian immigrants in the UK to ridicule.
The persistent failure of Nigerian marriages, particularly in the UK, has lately given compatriots back home cause for concern. Usually driven out by economic hardship or a need for better education, a couple arrives in the country and settles down. After a while, the couple begin to have problems keeping their marriage stable.
Aware that the laws of their host country protect her interests and grants her certain privileges, the wife decides to exploit them to her advantage. And this is where things really begin to go wrong.
Inviting the police to intervene in domestic matters does not always yield positive results. On the contrary, it might lead to more problems between the woman and her husband. Back home, even extreme cases of physical abuse in marriages are best left to elders in the extended family to handle, not the Police.
Before the police intervention, there were reports that Nigerian founded churches and other bodies have had their hands full in dealing with marital issues involving Nigerian couples.
Available statistics point to the fact that divorce rates are rising across the world. Nigerian marriages are not exempted. About 39 per cent of married couples in Nigeria, a report claims, end up divorcing. This is an indictment, no doubt, on the marriage institution in this part of the world. It is also an indication that the family, which is the first socialising agency for the Nigerian child, is failing.
A stable marriage guarantees a happy home, especially for the child. In fact, the home is the first and instantaneous unit for every child, irrespective of race or geographical location. He or she is born into and considered as a full member of the home. And home is a recognised group of people who are joined together by marriage. The home plays a huge role in every child’s early formation. So, it is important that he or she is nurtured in an atmosphere of peace and harmony, which only a balanced home can guarantee.
Since the divorce rate is increasing rapidly across the world, raising children has become a very sensitive issue. Children are often the worst affected by broken marriages. Children from broken homes are most likely to suffer damaging psycho-social problems than those whose parents are together.
Researchers have discovered that divorces have direct effects on the psychological, social and academic performances of a child. A child from a broken home is more likely to score low grades or lose interest in school. Experts also found that due to his aggressive nature, the boy is often inclined towards disobedience and suffers from anxiety after a series of hopeless thoughts towards tackling the different challenges.
To a large extent, deviant behaviour among children has been linked to broken homes. If not handled carefully, such children sometimes end up committing criminal offences and constituting a danger to the society.
We believe that more than ever, there is an urgent need for the services of marriage counsellors, especially here in Nigeria. Government should come up with a policy that requires aspiring couples to undergo counselling before getting married. Evidence indicating they had engaged the services of a marriage counsellor, most likely a certificate, must be presented before marriage takes place.
Moreover, the Nigerians in Diaspora Commission (NIDCOM) under the able leadership of Abike Dabiri-Eruwa should liaise with Nigerian communities and organisations in the UK to address this marital fiasco that can further damage the already soiled image of Nigeria abroad.
