November 04, (THEWILL) -Locating the ideal love is important not only for a contented life, but also for a healthy one. It is one thing worth spending time and energy on.
Herein, we share 10 tried tips to help you find your ideal love.
Meet a lot of available single people: Some people are fortunate enough to find the right mate in high school or college but if you haven’t found the right mate by the time you graduate, what do you do? Meet as many single potential mates as possible. Now that the pandemic is easing off, attend dances for single people and sign up for activities that you like. In the meantime, join online dating services. Stanford sociologist Michael Rosenfeld and colleagues show that “meeting online has become the most popular way couples meet, eclipsing meeting through friends.”
Online dating can allow you to discover a variety of people, most of whom you would never have met otherwise, and the more people you meet, the higher the chance that you will find the right person for you. Unfortunately, people can misrepresent themselves online. To uncover a fake, ask to meet in person quickly, in a safe public place. If the person refuses or postpones the meeting several times, they are probably not what they claim to be.
When you finally meet the person, pay attention to what your body is feeling: Are you right away feeling at ease and attracted to the person, or are you feeling uneasy? Learn to trust your first body’s reaction.
Know who you are and what kind of mate you need: Everybody needs something different in a partner. Select the qualities you want, and don’t settle until you find someone with those qualities.
On your first date, ask questions: Be very honest with the person and ask, “Are you looking for marriage or just for a hookup?” “Do you want children?” “Where do you want to live?”
If you are looking for marriage and the other person is just looking for a hookup, don’t try to change their mind; it’s probably better to walk away. If both of you are looking for the same thing, you could be a match. If your goal is to have five children and the other person is sure they don’t want any, you are not a match and you need to walk away. It is better to know the answer to those questions before getting emotionally attached.
Make sure you are spiritually compatible and if not, that you can respect each other’s beliefs: If one of you is a Christian and the other one is a Muslim, make sure you can respect and support the other one’s beliefs without trying to make them change. The important question is; In which faith would you raise your children? You need to discuss this and find an answer that will satisfy you both before you get emotionally attached, if you hold thoughts of marrying the person.
Make sure you are sexually compatible. Here are some extremes:Some people don’t care for sex and don’t really need it. Others desire sex every day. Still others only need sex once a month. If a person who needs sex once a month marries someone who needs sex twice a day, conflict will arise and the relationship will end as quickly as it began.
Make a list of questions to ask on first dates. Here are some examples; “How often do you need to have sex?” if sex is something important to you, I will advice that you don’t date anybody if they are not sexually compatible with you.
Make sure you are financially compatible: If a stingy person marries someone who likes spending a lot of money, the marriage might not survive if they have a common bank account.
On the other hand, if both keep separate finances even when married, the stingy one might like to get a lot of presents from the generous one, as long as the generous one doesn’t get into deeper and deeper debt. If the generous one gets into deep debts, then incompatibility will arise.
Make sure you are emotionally compatible: Some people like to be in each other’s arms, hold hands, say and hear loving words. Other people don’t like physical closeness (other than during sex) and cannot say love words. A marriage between a cuddly person and a non-cuddly one could be a disaster. You need to walk away from an incompatible relationship before you get emotionally attached.
Make sure you are intellectually compatible: Some people are interested in everything and anything, always want to discover and learn new things, and love to travel. Other people want to stay home, do the same routine work every day, and are not interested in learning or discovering new things. A marriage between these two types would probably not last.
Make sure you can talk about problems: Problems will arise, in the near or distant future. They always do. Whether it’s health problems, children’s or parents’ problems, work or money problems, they always happen. Make sure you and your mate can talk to each other, listen to each other, and find solutions together.
Spend time and energy looking for the perfect love: We spend time, money, and energy studying and looking for the perfect job. We need to do the same thing when looking for our ideal love. We need to be proactive and actively seek the right partner, which is as important as looking for the right job. If we wait for the right person to magically show up at our door, we could wait a lifetime, but settling for the wrong mate could destroy our life, health, and finances.
Searching for and finding the ideal love will make us happier, healthier, and could make us live longer.
Keep being hopeful and at the same time be patient and persistent: Know that the right partner for you exists, you just need to find them. Pay attention to your body’s reaction when you meet people. Your body will let you know. Feeling at ease and excited at the same time, heart racing, butterfly sensations, when the right person is in front of you.
Everybody deserves to find the right partner for them. Do not settle for less than what you deserve.
Share your views and comments below.
About the Author
